There is so much running through my mind right now, that I don't even know where to start. I guess I'll start at the beginning. When we moved out here last fall, I joined a mom and tot group through the church we were attending. I was really excited to be able to make friends with other moms. It ended up that there were five of us in the group. As far as the kids went, there was Chloe and four little boys. We laughed about that a lot, but at their age, it just doesn't matter. The kids were all born within 3 months of each other, but the age difference between me and the other mom's was 12 years between me and the oldest, and 7 between me and the next youngest. I thought it wouldn't matter, because for all purposes of the group, we were on the same learning curve. It turns out that everything I thought would be ok, wasn't. There was one mom who openly made comments that 25 was so young and immature. This same mom openly let her little boy bully Chloe, and would shoot me dirty looks when I would go to her rescue and tell her little boy to be nice.(I don't normally do this to other people's kids, but she wouldn't do anything, and I wasn't going to stand by and let it keep happening.) She has now succeeded in fully excluding me from the group. The book she suggested to study, that everyone else agreed on, is Bringing up Boys. Hello....no boys being brought up here! She isn't the only one responsible though. We were planning on having Chloe's birthday party this Thursday, but postponed it until the 11 as she has a cold. It turns out that as soon as the email went out, another one was sent that was subject titled "No Party!!" and in it stated that they would discuss Chloe's party next week! Do they seriously need to discuss as a group whether or not they should attend Chloe's birthday?! I wasn't sent the original email, it was cc'd back to me in a reply. So now I'm just hurt. Badly. I had figured that by the time women reached their mid to late 30s they'd stop acting like they were in high school. I thought I was finally done with backstabbing friends. I seem to have a real knack for picking them out. I'm beyond tired of trying, and am more than ready to settle into being by myself. I know I can't do that though. I have a little copycat who I have to try and raise to be a confident woman. Now I'm planning on cancelling the postponed party because I have absolutely no desire to really see any of them again. It really gets to me. No wonder people get turned off Christianity, when this is how Christian women act in regard to a bible study/small group. If you could all pray for me. I'm getting really lonely through all of this. Now I'm off to try and distract myself with some snuggles from my sick little girl.
*Update*
Not all the people I make friends with are bad. My best friend from Bible school just recently moved close by. She just stopped by with a birthday card and a gift card for Chloe. Thank you SO much Kathy! You don't know how much it really meant to me to see you parked outside!
9 comments:
I am still praying that you find some GOOD friends and that you find a church that you feel loved and accepted in.
I know of one not to far from my house!!!(hint,hint)
Miss you lots.
Oh Cindi, I'm so sorry that you've been dealing with this. I'll be praying you'll find some good friends there. love ya
Cindy, I am so sorry that you have to go through this, at this age, and with women who are supposed to be Christians.Shame on those women for setting such a bad example to their children. I have watched you grow up and you are so much like your Mom, a beautiful woman with an amazing daughter and an amazing relationship with her Lord. I think you might need to look for a different group, but finding friends with similar interests is so important for us as women. Don't let these four no-hearts stop you from finding that. For you and for your beautiful little girl.
That is very sad. I will pray that you find good friends. It's really hard to step out once you've been hurt but I pray that God will give you the courage to do just that if not in this church, then in another.
Sorry to hear about that Cindi. I know how you feel to be without good friends around you. (I don't know how it feels to be snubbed like that though. Do you want me to come out there and tell them off? Or I could send Ang. She's pretty snarky when she gets ticked off and it sounds like these women need a serious lesson on how to play nicely with others. For their kids too.)
For the record, I think you're a great Mommy, and definitely "mature" enough to handle it. Sheesh. Think of my 20ish year old mom with her squad of kids! What would they say about her? Or your mom? Or lots of great moms. Don't let them get you down girl. You're fabulous and it's their loss.
HA HA. SERIOUSLY. THESE THINGS ENRAGE ME. I HAVE ISSUES WITH STANDING UP FOR MYSELF BUT I HAVE NO PROBLEM WHEN OTHER PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE I LOVE. MAN, LET ME AT EM.
ANYWAYS, I'M GLAD YOU HAVE AT LEAST ONE GOOD FRIEND THERE. SOMETIMES HAVING ONLY A COUPLE TRUE ONES MEANS MORE THAN HAVING LOTS OF FRIENDS THAT REALLY END UP BEING A DISAPPOINTMENT WHEN TIMES CALL FOR THEM TO STAND UP AND ACT.
I have lived in the same town all my life so I can't imagine what it would be like try to make all new friends. These ladies should understand that and if they have a problem with you find a why to discuss their difference. As far as that How to Raise Boys book. No one book can tell you everything and one one book should be used to teach a group how to raise children. If they want to start a boys play group tell them to go do it. I am sure you will find more friends. And remember one good friend is better than 100 bad friends. I will pray for the women in that group. You sound like your doing better than them. Just kidding. I will pray for you too.
Hi I am a cartoonist and am creating a kids content website. I want you to check it out and see if you enjoy it. It is still in the early stages of construction, but I need some input. It is based on my daughter. Here it is, www.brendasfriends.com. I have a link to my blog there and too some coloring pages. Please let me know what you think. I will be happy to add you to my blogroll if you will do the same. I hope we can be friends.
Hi. I just felt like I needed to leave a messge. I've gone thru equally hurtful things when it comes to friends, and I"m so sorry that this has happened. Right now I'm in the same boat when it comes to loneliness as well, and am finding that I actually have no true friendships at the moment. We should pick a day and get together, it would be nice!!!!
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